introduction
Self-esteem is the degree to which we feel confident, consider ourselves valuable, and respect ourselves, and this greatly affects our well-being. Self-esteem exists on a continuum, from high to low. Low self-esteem is associated with self-doubt, self-criticism, social isolation, suppressed anger, and shame. Low self-esteem is also a symptom of several mental health conditions, including anxiety and depression.
Signs and symptoms
One of the most common features of low self-esteem is negative self-talk.
People with low self-esteem regard themselves critically and may feel a perpetual sense of failure or lack of accomplishment.
Feelings of low self-esteem are perpetuated by constantly comparing themselves to others and criticizing themselves.
These negative messages are rarely true, but the thought patterns may be so ingrained in a person’s behaviour that they do not recognize the frequency with which they occur.
Upon examination, people often realise that the negative messages are inaccurate and that they would never say such things to another person.Low self-esteem is also closely associated with the following conditions and experiences:
01/ Co-dependency
02/ Special Anxiety
03/ General Anxiety
04/ Shame
05/ Depression
06/ Inadequacy
07/ Powerlessness
08/ Physical, emotional or sexual abuse
09/ Perfectionism
CHALLENGES TO SELF-ESTEEM
Self-esteem is learned in childhood, and certain experiences may interfere with its development, such as being subject to criticism or abuse from parents and caretakers; missing out on experiences that would foster a sense of confidence and purpose; receiving little or no positive reinforcement for accomplishments; being stigmatised for unusual appearance or behaviours, or for one’s race, class, or social identity; or having a learning disability or physical impairment.
In adulthood, even a well-developed self-esteem can be challenged by sudden life changes or perceived failures, such as losing a job or changing jobs, ending an intimate relationship, having legal or financial troubles, struggling with addiction or substance abuse, having children with emotional troubles, physical health concerns, or a host of other events that might cause us to question our worth or value.
Therapy can help put such events in perspective and enhance strengths to increase resilience, social support and hope.
How PSYCHOTHERAPY CAN HELP SELF-ESTEEM
Therapy sessions frequently address issues like low self-esteem and help people to gain a stronger sense of self. People with low self-esteem may work with therapists on becoming more assertive, confident, and self-aware.
Finding a sense of accomplishment is a huge boost to self-esteem, and therapy can help people identify specific activities that boost confidence and competence.
In addition, many therapists focus on helping people develop self-compassion so that they can develop more realistic, achievable goals for themselves and treat themselves with the same kindness and encouragement they would offer others.
Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is the degree to which we feel confident, consider ourselves valuable, and respect ourselves, and this greatly affects our well-being.
Self-esteem exists on a continuum, from high to low.
Low self-esteem is associated with self-doubt, self-criticism, social isolation, suppressed anger and shame.
Low self-esteem is also a symptom of several mental health conditions, including anxiety and depression.
More on self-esteemRelationships
Relationships require work and are bound to face challenges large and small.
Simple, everyday stressors can strain an intimate relationship, and major sources of stress may threaten the stability of the relationship.
As long as each partner is willing to address the issue at hand and participate in developing a solution, most relationship problems are manageable, but when challenges are left unaddressed, tension mounts, poor habits develop, and the health and longevity of the relationship are in jeopardy.
More on Relationship Issuessadness and grief
Sadness is the most painful of our feelings. It slows us down which encourages us to ask important questions about what we have lost.
This requires our strength and in return develops our strength. Our grief enriches our memories of our loss and helps us be clear of what we value in life.
Knowing the experience of sadness engenders empathy and so helps create the precious bonds we form when we reach out to others or are reached ourselves.
If you or a loved one is struggling with loss and grief and would like to talk, make an appointment by phone, text or email.
More on sadness and griefAnxiety
Anxiety is one of the most common reasons people come to counselling and psychotherapy. Whilst we all experience anxiety in life, if the levels are continuously high, then you will need to take this seriously. High levels can damage your health and can affect many areas of your life – work, relationships, sexual relationships, friendships, sleeping patterns, self esteem and your physical health. Serious levels of anxiety show up in the form of:
01/ panic attacks
02/ phobias
03/ compulsions
04/ obsessive thinking
05/ debilitating worry
06/ avoidance of people/situations
07/ stomach ulcers
08/ eating disorders
09/ drug and alcohol issues
More on AnxietyDepression
One in seven of us in New Zealand will suffer from depression at some point in our lives. Most often, if it is not treated, it will return.
Depression is very serious in the way it affects the sufferer and their friends and family. The symptoms affect the way we think about ourselves, how we feel and how we behave. There are different kinds and degrees of depression.
All depression can be worked with and either cured or decreased and managed significantly. Where it is chronic, psychotherapy and/or medication will likely need to be long in duration.
Depression is a serious illness with biological, psychological and social aspects that affect its cause and symptoms.
These aspects are also involved in its treatment. For this reason it is important to get professional help so that it does not return or get worse.
More on depressionAggression and violence
Aggression and violence are terms that are often used interchangeably; however, there are some distinctions between them that should be noted:
01/ Violence is defined as a form of physical assault with intent to injure another person or destroy the property of others. The causes that lead to violence or why some individuals “value” violence may be related to social status, personal issues, or may be caused by institutional forces. Violence is found in many areas of life including the workplace, home, sports performances, and general public areas.
02/ Aggression can be generally defined as all behaviour intended to injure another person, psychologically or physically, or destroy another person’s property.
More on aggression and violenceABUSE: SEXUAL, PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL
If you or someone you love is being abused or has been abused.
Psychotherapy is a safe space to begin to heal and empower yourself. Fear is often a dominating factor and there is often understandable difficulty in learning to trust people again.
Clients may suffer from flashbacks and nightmares, some times leading to post traumatic stress and exhaustion.
Everyone is unique and has unique experiences.
The most important thing I do is to listen to you and your experience and from this we then build a way to work together.
More on ABUSE: SEXUAL, PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONALAnger
Anger is a common emotion meant to:
01/ Protect us from harm
02/ Help us get our needs met
03/ Prevent us from sinking into despair.
It is normal to experience anger. Sometimes anger is the appropriate response to the behaviour or thoughts of others or ourselves. Managed correctly, and kept in check, anger is an important ally for a healthy adult. However anger may arise but not be due to the present situation, but because the present situation reminds us unconsciously of a past experience. When this happens it can be risky, it can alienate others from us and can be very dangerous. Anger can become an habitual defence against feeling sadness or fear.
More on Anger
