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Relationships require work and are bound to face challenges large and small. Simple, everyday stressors can strain an intimate relationship, and major sources of stress may threaten the stability of the relationship. As long as each partner is willing to address the issue at hand and participate in developing a solution, most relationship problems are manageable, but when challenges are left unaddressed, tension mounts, poor habits develop, and the health and longevity of the relationship are in jeopardy.
THE IMPACT OF STRESS AND STRAIN ON RELATIONSHIPS
Strain can be placed on a relationship when stressful circumstances affect the couple as a whole, or even just one of the partners. Chronic illness of one person, for example, can impact the well-being of both partners.
Many couples struggle with communicating effectively and feeling that they are heard by their partners, as well as differences in parenting, political views, or expectations.
Severe stressors include infidelity, terminal illness of one partner, and serious mental health issues. Resentment, contempt, and an increase in the frequency of arguments that lead to no resolution, tend to be signs of underlying problems that have been left unaddressed. Some common relationship concerns include financial difficulties, barriers to communication, routine conflict, emotional distance, sexual intimacy issues, and lack of trust.
Sometimes, marriage itself can be the issue at hand for unmarried couple, when one partner wants to marry, or is subject to social or familial pressure to do so, and the other partner is reluctant or feels unready to marry.
THERAPY FOR RELATIONSHIPS
All couples argue sometimes, but when insults, criticism, intimidation, threats, humiliation, or stonewalling become commonplace, the relationship enters the realm of psychological abuse.Signs of psychological abuse are often more subtle and harder to recognise than those of physical abuse.
Healthy boundaries are not present in abusive relationships, and this fact may make the therapy process difficult or impossible, as the safety of each partner is paramount to ensuring positive treatment outcomes.
It may not be therapeutic to engage in relationship psychotherapy if violence has occurred, unless and until both partners show tremendous growth in the areas of boundaries and safety.
Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is the degree to which we feel confident, consider ourselves valuable, and respect ourselves, and this greatly affects our well-being.
Self-esteem exists on a continuum, from high to low.
Low self-esteem is associated with self-doubt, self-criticism, social isolation, suppressed anger and shame.
Low self-esteem is also a symptom of several mental health conditions, including anxiety and depression.
More on self-esteemRelationships
Relationships require work and are bound to face challenges large and small.
Simple, everyday stressors can strain an intimate relationship, and major sources of stress may threaten the stability of the relationship.
As long as each partner is willing to address the issue at hand and participate in developing a solution, most relationship problems are manageable, but when challenges are left unaddressed, tension mounts, poor habits develop, and the health and longevity of the relationship are in jeopardy.
More on Relationship Issuessadness and grief
Sadness is the most painful of our feelings. It slows us down which encourages us to ask important questions about what we have lost.
This requires our strength and in return develops our strength. Our grief enriches our memories of our loss and helps us be clear of what we value in life.
Knowing the experience of sadness engenders empathy and so helps create the precious bonds we form when we reach out to others or are reached ourselves.
If you or a loved one is struggling with loss and grief and would like to talk, make an appointment by phone, text or email.
More on sadness and griefAnxiety
Anxiety is one of the most common reasons people come to counselling and psychotherapy. Whilst we all experience anxiety in life, if the levels are continuously high, then you will need to take this seriously. High levels can damage your health and can affect many areas of your life – work, relationships, sexual relationships, friendships, sleeping patterns, self esteem and your physical health. Serious levels of anxiety show up in the form of:
01/ panic attacks
02/ phobias
03/ compulsions
04/ obsessive thinking
05/ debilitating worry
06/ avoidance of people/situations
07/ stomach ulcers
08/ eating disorders
09/ drug and alcohol issues
More on AnxietyDepression
One in seven of us in New Zealand will suffer from depression at some point in our lives. Most often, if it is not treated, it will return.
Depression is very serious in the way it affects the sufferer and their friends and family. The symptoms affect the way we think about ourselves, how we feel and how we behave. There are different kinds and degrees of depression.
All depression can be worked with and either cured or decreased and managed significantly. Where it is chronic, psychotherapy and/or medication will likely need to be long in duration.
Depression is a serious illness with biological, psychological and social aspects that affect its cause and symptoms.
These aspects are also involved in its treatment. For this reason it is important to get professional help so that it does not return or get worse.
More on depressionAggression and violence
Aggression and violence are terms that are often used interchangeably; however, there are some distinctions between them that should be noted:
01/ Violence is defined as a form of physical assault with intent to injure another person or destroy the property of others. The causes that lead to violence or why some individuals “value” violence may be related to social status, personal issues, or may be caused by institutional forces. Violence is found in many areas of life including the workplace, home, sports performances, and general public areas.
02/ Aggression can be generally defined as all behaviour intended to injure another person, psychologically or physically, or destroy another person’s property.
More on aggression and violenceABUSE: SEXUAL, PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL
If you or someone you love is being abused or has been abused.
Psychotherapy is a safe space to begin to heal and empower yourself. Fear is often a dominating factor and there is often understandable difficulty in learning to trust people again.
Clients may suffer from flashbacks and nightmares, some times leading to post traumatic stress and exhaustion.
Everyone is unique and has unique experiences.
The most important thing I do is to listen to you and your experience and from this we then build a way to work together.
More on ABUSE: SEXUAL, PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONALAnger
Anger is a common emotion meant to:
01/ Protect us from harm
02/ Help us get our needs met
03/ Prevent us from sinking into despair.
It is normal to experience anger. Sometimes anger is the appropriate response to the behaviour or thoughts of others or ourselves. Managed correctly, and kept in check, anger is an important ally for a healthy adult. However anger may arise but not be due to the present situation, but because the present situation reminds us unconsciously of a past experience. When this happens it can be risky, it can alienate others from us and can be very dangerous. Anger can become an habitual defence against feeling sadness or fear.
More on Anger
