Relationships, Partnerships and Marriage
Relationships require work and are bound to face challenges large and small. Simple, everyday stressors can strain an intimate relationship, and major sources of stress may threaten the stability of the relationship. As long as each partner is willing to address the issue at hand and participate in developing a solution, most relationship problems are manageable, but when challenges are left unaddressed, tension mounts, poor habits develop, and the health and longevity of the relationship are in jeopardy.
The Impact of Stress and Strain on Relationships
Strain can be placed on a relationship when stressful circumstances affect the couple as a whole, or even just one of the partners. Chronic illness of one person, for example, can impact the well-being of both partners. Many couples struggle with communicating effectively and feeling that they are heard by their partners, as well as differences in parenting, political views, or expectations. Severe stressors include infidelity, terminal illness of one partner, and serious mental health issues. Resentment, contempt, and an increase in the frequency of arguments that lead to no resolution, tend to be signs of underlying problems that have been left unaddressed. Some common relationship concerns include financial difficulties, barriers to communication, routine conflict, emotional distance, sexual intimacy issues, and lack of trust. Sometimes, marriage itself can be the issue at hand for unmarried couple, when one partner wants to marry, or is subject to social or familial pressure to do so, and the other partner is reluctant or feels unready to marry. Couples who are considering marriage may seek premarital counseling for these and other issues.
Therapy for Relationships
Couples often seek couples or marriage counseling when relationship problems begin to interfere with daily functioning or when partners are unsure about continuing the relationship. Couples often approach counseling with the expectation that a therapist can help in some way—though they may not know just how they expect the therapist to help. Some couples may want to develop better communication skills, enhance intimacy, or learn to navigate new terrain in their lives. Others may expect the therapist to mediate their arguments, or take sides and declare which partner is right. Professional psychotherapists are trained to not take sides, this is an important part of couple psychotherapy. Trained therapists help partners by supporting the goals set by the couple and helping each partner to communicate his or her needs, thoughts, and emotions more clearly and to listen to the other partner more carefully. For relationship counseling to significantly help a relationship, each partner needs to commit, at a minimum, to the relationship counseling for the time it continues. Each partner should demonstrate honesty, an interest in doing relationship work, and a willingness to accept personal accountability.
When Relationship Problems Point to Abuse
All couples argue sometimes, but when insults, criticism, intimidation, threats, humiliation, or stonewalling become commonplace, the relationship enters the realm of emotional abuse. Signs of emotional or psychological abuse are often more subtle and harder to recognize than those of physical abuse, although the psychological impact of emotional abuse is likely to be as severe as or worse than that of physical abuse. Healthy boundaries are not present in abusive relationships, and this fact may make the therapy process difficult or impossible, as the safety of each partner is paramount to ensuring positive treatment outcomes. It may not be therapeutic to engage in relationship counseling if violence has occurred, unless and until both partners show tremendous growth in the areas of boundaries and safety.
Find out more on Couple Counselling sessions
McCabe, M. P. (2006). Satisfaction in marriage and committed heterosexual relationships: Past, present, and future. Annual Review of Sex Research, 17, 39-58. Retrieved from proquest
Ocobock, A. (2013). The power and limits of marriage: Married gay men’s family relationships. Journal of Marriage and Family, 75(1), 191-205. Retrieved from Proquest